


Only

by Raven_Potts_913



Category: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy RPF, Queer Eye more than a makeover, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Break Up Talk, I Love You, M/M, Post-Break Up, chosen family, love is love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22071631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Potts_913/pseuds/Raven_Potts_913
Summary: JVN has broken up with his boyfriend William and the boys meet up in a cafe in SLC and this triggers them to talk about the first time each said i love you to there significant other
Relationships: Antoni porowski/Kevin Harrigton, Bobby Berk/Dewey Do, Jonathan Van Ness/Male OC, Karamo Brown/Ian Jordan, Tan France/Rob France
Kudos: 10





	1. Johnathan ONLY told William that he loved him

**Author's Note:**

> This whole fic came from a post I saw on Facebook where it stated that if you put the word ONLY anywhere inside the sentence SHE TOLD HIM THAT SHE LOVED HIM it would still make sense each of the five chapters has the word in a different place in the sentence

Johnathan sat on the chair at the edge of the booth in Alchemy coffee in SLC Tan had just finished filming the new season of next in fashion and the four boys where up catching up with their best friend Johnathan was being unusually quiet and as Tan sat there drinking his coffee he turned to his youngest brother and spoke to him “’ok Johnny give it up what’s wrong why are you being so quite” the baby of the group just shrugged “’it’s nothing Tanny-Banny” he said not wanting to seem needy as apparently that was something that he needed to work on according to William.

_William was an adventure sports tutor that Johnathan had been dating for the past 6 months JVN was very much in love with William he was sure that this man was going to be his one but it turned out that he was just another step on the road to finding his true love._

The other three joined in with the discussion “come on JVN you know you can tell us anything” Antoni said pulling the man closer to him with a hug “I know but honestly its nothing” he said “no its not something is upsetting you love and I don’t want you to have to go through whatever it is yourself” Bobby added to the conversation “Don’t push him boys I’m sure he will tell us when he’s ready right girl” Karamo interjected always the voice of reason in their small group the boys nodded in agreement Karamo was right as always and they knew Johnathan would tell them all eventually so with a smile Tan changed the discussion to their lovers Bobby began speaking about the holiday he and Dewey had enjoyed the previous week on some sunny island or other and the boys just listened intently to their brothers story with smiles on their faces then Antoni told them about his visit with Kevin up to Canada to see his sister Karolina after that story was done Tan turned to Johnathan “so Johnny what about you and William how is that going” Tan inquired the grooming expert just shrugged his shoulders and looked away from the table Bobby who was sitting to his right saw the tears in his eyes “Oh Johnny love come here it’s ok” Bobby said as he held his arms out and let JVN climb onto his lap the taller man curled up in his brother’s lap with a small smile “oh sweety” Karamo said patting the other man’s arms with love “he broke up with me” Johnathan explained after taking a few moments to calm himself “oh darling I’m so sorry” Tan said to him “what happened” he asked and Johnathan just looked at them “we had a fight” “what caused it” Antoni inquired “I only told him that I loved him” Johnathan explained before heading into the story

**TWO WEEKS EARLIER**

Johnathan was lying on the couch in his LA apartment re-watching a series of unfortunate events on Netflix he was more than halfway through Carnivorous Carnival Part Two when the door went he paused the show and went to answer the door throwing his hair up into a quick high top bun when he opened the door his face lit up and he threw his arms around his boyfriend before placing a kiss on the other man’s cheek “’hey Will come on babe” he said with a smile moving to let the man into the apartment “what brings you here” he asked as he went to the kitchen to get them some wine “so what brings you here not that I’m complaining of course” he added quickly and William just nodded “I know you’re not handsome I was just in the area and thought I would come and see you” he said taking his drink “do you want to stay for dinner” JVN began kissing his boyfriend “I was just about to start cooking it when you arrived” he lied he had intended to just order takeout at some point that night “sure babe” William said with a smile “just put on anything you like Will and I’ll get started on dinner dose Steak, mushroom and chips sound ok to you” Johnathan said as he checked his fridge he had been in New York until yesterday and hadn’t got round to going shopping yet so he didn’t have much in “yeah sounds great love what where you watching before I got here” he inquired “oh just the lemony snicket show with NPH in it” he said not wanting to let the other man know about his obsession with Neil “oh I love that show why don’t we just keep on with that where are you at” he asked as he picked up the remote to get the screen to come back to life “the last episode of season 2” Johnathan called from the kitchen area “oh I love that one David and the kids are in it” he said and Johnathan nodded “yeah I’m not to far from that bit” he said before getting to work the couple talked as William watched and Johnathan listened to the show until dinner was ready then the TV was switched off and the couple spoke about their days “that was delicious babe thanks” William said with a smile “’thanks but it’s Ant’s recipe” “’you really love those boys don’t you” Will asked “yeah of course they’re my brothers they mean a lot to me but I love you as well” he said without thinking “in a very different way of course the love I have for the boys is familial love but the love I have for you is romantic” he suddenly stopped when he realised that he had never told William he loved him before “you love me?” the other man asked and Johnny just nodded “yeah I love you, I’m in love with you” with that Williams stood up from his empty plate and headed for the door “I’m sorry Johnny I’m not looking for anything this serious just yet” he left the house

**PRESENT DAY**

As Johnathan finished recounting his story the boys all reached for him and Bobby pulled him close against his chest “if he is not ready to settle down then he was not your one Jackie cause when you find your one you decide to settle down even if you don’t think your ready ok love” Tan said using his words to comfort his brother being the furthest away from him and unable to reach him physically “Tan’s right Johnny You’ll find your one yet” Antoni said “exactly and we will help you to do so” Bobby added causing Johnathan to smile as he realised that no matter if he was single or in a relationships he would never be alone as he would always have his brothers. 


	2. Tan told Rob that he loved ONLY him

Telling someone you love them is tricky it’s all about timing you don’t want to do it to early and scare them off but you don’t want to tell them to late that they lose interest in you” Antoni said with a smile as Johnathan came back to the table with another mint hot chocolate “yeah I’ll never forget the day I told Rob I loved him it was about three months into the relationship” Tan said with a smile thinking about his husband “really only three months and he didn’t think that was to early” Johnathan asked and Tan shook his head “’no I mean I think Rob and I knew from the moment we met that we would spend the rest of our life’s together” Bobby nodded “yeah I mean that makes sense Tan you and Rob are soulmates you really are” Tan smiled “beside he had already told me that he loved me by that point anyway” Tan joked as Rob had accidently told Tan he loved him over text not long after Tan had returned to the UK “I bet it was really romantic Tan” Karamo joked Tan was the least romantic of the group that fact was not up for dispute but he still had the cutest relationship of the quintet “actually it was during a fight” Tan said with a slight frown he and Rob rarely ever fought and that was one of the things they prided themselves on “oh gosh Tanny what was the fight about” Johnny asked “there was rumours of me cheating on him and well he believed them” Tan said and began to tell the story of not only there first fight but also the first I love you

**2008**

Rob had been visiting Tan in London they had been to see Buckingham Palace the previous day and today they had met up with a few of Tan’s friends and Rob had heard them whispering about some guy called Andrew and how close he and Tan where and Rob had become very suspicious he knew his and Tan’s relationship was still new and maybe Tan had not decided to be monogamous yet he thought they had but maybe he had been mistaken Tan looked over to him from the little kitchenette in their hotel room “hey what’s wrong Rob” he asked as he finished the dishes from dinner and walked over to snuggle into his boyfriend “nothing love it’s fine” he said he didn’t want a fight one thing his parents had always told him growing up was to avoid conflict as much as possible in a relationship and he intended to take that advice “no Rob something is wrong please tell me what you are the most important person in the world to me if somethings wrong I want to know”’ he said as he kissed him on the cheek. Rob sat there for a short while thinking about it then he sighed detangling himself from Tan he spoke “well it’s just something I overheard Nas and Vicky talking about earlier” Tan looked over at him he had asked his friends not to say anything that might scare his boyfriend off but it appeared that they hadn’t listened “what was it” Tan asked as he tried to pull Rob closer to him but with no success “who’s Andrew” was all Rob was able to say and Tan sat there in shook as Rob started at him “WELL WHO IS HE” Rob demanded standing up “what are you talking about Andrew who” Tan asked trying to defuse the situation “I don’t know but they kept talking about how close you two were and how good you were together” Tan stood up and moved closer to Rob “’he’s just an ex he and Vicky are still good friends but I don’t see him anymore Rob I swear” Tan said reaching out his hands hoping beyond hope that Rob would take them “I love you Rob only you no one else” he said and Rob just stared at him “you love me?” he asked hardly able to believe his ears “yes of course I love you, you American idoit come here” he said and Rob went willingly into Tan’s arms and held him tight “I love you too Tan so much you truly are my world” he said with a smile as the couple kissed “what do you say we take this to the bedroom” Rob asked Tan only broke away and grabbed his hand leading him to the small hotel bedroom

**PRESEANT DAY**

“ok ok that’s quite enough Tanny we don’t need to hear anymore” Bobby said not wanting to hear any bedroom detail of his brother and Rob and Tan blushed “’yeah ok maybe that was a bit TMI” he began taking a drink of his Tan Mocha witch he often joked with the boys was named for him none of them believed him though of course but it was still an ongoing joke with the group “the point is that there is never a good time to tell someone you love them and it’s better to get it over and done with while there is still an out” the boys all nodded when suddenly Tan felt hands landing on his shoulders and he looked up and a smile engulfed his face when he saw Rob standing there coffee in hand “hey love what you doing here” Tan asked as the man gave him a quick kiss before pulling another chair over and sitting at the edge beside Johnathan “saw you’re Instagram post about being here with the boys when I was getting out of work and figured I’d come by and say hi” he said with a smile “so what are you talking about”’ he continued “saying I love you” Bobby explained


	3. Only Dewey told Bobby that he loved him

“Saying I love you?” Rob asked “how did that conversation come up” he inquired “William broke up with Johnny because he told Will that he loved him” Antoni informed him with a small smile “oh sweety I’m so sorry” the nurse said as he pulled the baby of the group in for hug “thanks Rob, Tan was just telling us about the first time he told you he loved you and vice versa” Johnathan said “yeah who’s going next I’m liking this game” Tan laughed as his husband shot him a glare “I will mine is cute at least in my opinion it is it was almost a year into dating and it was the first time I had heard it in a long time” Bobby began 

**2005**

Bobby was sitting on Dewey’s couch watching the A Series Of Unfortunate Events movie curled up beside Dewey after a grand and romantic night out to dinner they where about half way though the movie when Dewey turned to his boyfriend “do you want anything to drink love”’ he asked and Bobby not really paying attention to what he was saying to busy watching the movie just nodded “yeah some soda would be nice” he answered and Dewey untangled himself from the designer and went to get something to drink for them both “thanks” bobby said as he took the can of soda from his partner with a smile he loved being here with Dewey it made him whole again in a way he hadn’t since he left home nine years previous he only hoped that he made his boyfriend feel the same way. After the movie finished Dewey pulled Bobby into a hug “do you want to stay over again tonight” he asked and Bobby just nodded he loved waking up next to Dewey it always made him feel safe so the duo made there way to the bedroom.

**PRESENT DAY**

“woah woah woah you told me off for heading to the bed room in my story” Tan said interrupting Bobby “yeah but you had already reached the important part of the story besides nothing happened that night Tan we were only going to the bed room as it was time to sleep” he clarified to his friends “yeah Tanny get your mind out the gutter” Antoni said causing Rob to laugh “yeah it’s my mind that belongs there” Johnathan said causing Karamo to choke on his coffee with laughter “yes well anyway” Bobby began clearing his throat to get the groups attention back to him “as I was saying Dewey and I headed into the bedroom”

**2005**

The couple lay down and Dewey lay his head on Bobby’s chest and smiled very much enjoying sharing these moments with the man he loved in a way he had never loved anyone else in his life “I love you Bobby” he said suddenly deciding to tell the other man just how he felt, before quickly beginning to regret his decision when he heard the other man gulp “you what” Bobby asked while trying to force back the tears “I, I love you Bobby and I thought you would feel the same as I do but if you don’t” he began sitting back up “I do, oh gosh Dewey Do I love you so much” he could no longer hold back the tears and began to let them fall Dewey was confused as to why the other man was crying but he just pulled Bobby onto lap and held him till he stopped crying whispering as many reassurances as he possible could to the other man “I love you so much Bobby, I’m right here, it’s ok let it out love, let it all out” they sat like that for at least five minutes till Bobby manged to pull himself together enough to talk “I’m sorry” he said as tried to look away from his lover but found he was unable to “don’t apologies love what’s wrong” he asked softly “it’s just that well I’ve not heard anyone say that to me with such conviction since I left home and I don’t know it just hit me I suppose” he explained as he clung to Dewey seeking the comfort only the other man could give and Dewey just kissed him on the forehead “Bobby even if only I tell you that I love you I hope that my love is enough for you because I do love you so much and I swear to you I will never abandon you” Bobby just nodded and climbed of his partners lap and lay back down with Dewey following his lead and the two fell asleep in each other’s arms Bobby feeling safer and happier than he had since he was 15 years old.

**PRESENT DAY**

“Bobbers” Johnathan said as he hugged the other man once more “I love you Bobber so so much” he added “we all do” “I know Johnny I know you guys all love me”’ he said beaming with the size of his family after being alone for so long not only did he have Dewey’s family and his fab five family but he had been mending tings with his blood family for a while “but yeah that’s the story of how Dewey told me he loved me the other way round is much less fascinating he picked me up from the airport after I’d been away working on designing a house and I had brought him a present and as I handed it to him and he asked why I got him it any my answer was ‘it’s just my way of saying I love you’ so yeah much less romantic or eventful” he said with a laugh “still more romantic than there proposal” Karamo joked gesturing towards the Frances the lack of romantic proposal was an ongoing joke with the quintet as well and Karamo was always ready to bring it up “anyway I guess I’m next since a certain someone still hasn’t told his long term boyfriend he loves him” Karamo stated looking across the table at Antoni who had switched places with Tan when Rob had come in


	4. Antoni told ONLY Kevin that he loved him

“Actually KB I have told Kevin I love him” Antoni said with a smile he had told Kevin he loved him multiple times by this point but just hadn’t mentioned any of them to his brothers the five other men just stared at him “oh come on tell us tell us tell us” Johnathan demanded causing the others to laugh at their youngest member’s childish behaviour “calm down sweety” Bobby said with a short laugh patting the other man’s leg “so tell us then Ant how did the first time go” Karamo interjected steering the conversation back on track “only if you want to though Ant you don’t have to baby boi” Tan added not ever wanting to pressure his favriote brother into telling any personal details knowing that he was the most private in that way of them all “it’s fine Tanny I don’t mind love” he began before turning his attention to the rest of the table “ok so well it happened last month”

**SEPTEMBER**

Antoni sat on the couch beside his boyfriend re-watching how I met your mother on Netflix for what must have been the twelfth time, he was so glad to be home in his own apartment as he and Kevin were not long back from Canada where the couple had been away visiting his sister Aleksandra and Antoni had very much enjoyed showing Kevin where he grew up and went to school, he had even finally introduced Kevin to his friends from back home and they all had said how much they loved the thrill seeker and had informed Antoni of how perfect they thought Kevin was for him and throughout the visit Antoni had grown to love Kevin even more than he ever had and so he resolved to tell him that he loved him for the first time that night. Antoni was nervous of course how could he not be even though they had been dating just under a year and Antoni knew that Kevin loved him to but at the same time he didn’t want to open himself up to much as he didn’t think he could cope with another break up he was sure that one more heartbreak would destroy him so why risk it after all his love life since Queer Eye started has been cursed to fail well at least in his opinion but surely not telling him Kevin that he loved him would make him leave sooner

**PRESENT DAY**

“baby boi” Tan said pulling him into a hug “you’re not cursed love” he added and the rest of the group quickly agreed with him “why would you even think that sweety” Rob asked and Antoni just shrugged “I don’t know I mean the past two struggled with me being away so much I’m scared it will happen again” “sweety I know but let me tell you something if they love you enough they will easily stick around and put up with your traveling so you can hone you passion like Dewey, Ian and I do” Rob said as he took Tan’s hand with a smile and Antoni looked over at the couple and smiled “anyway where was I oh yes so I was on the couch watching how I met your mother and trying to decide wither or not I should tell him I love him”’ he began getting back to the story

 **SEPTEMBER**

At some point during the show and his thought prosses he had begun to cry “what’s wrong” Kevin asked has as he wiped away the tears from the chef’s eyes “nothing” was all Antoni managed to get out before his voice broke “no come on talk to me” he hated seeing his loving boyfriend sad like this “do you want me to phone one of the boys for you if you don’t want to talk to me about it” he said gently trying his best to comfort his boyfriend the best he could without knowing what was wrong. Antoni took a steading breath and shock his head “No babe it’s fine but thank you” he said as he took Kevin’s hand in his and looked him straight in the eye “I’ve just ben thinking a lot but it’s ok darling I’m fine I promise” “are you sure” Kevin asked placing a kiss on the other’s cheek “yeah yeah you know what I’m like I tend to over think things” he said with a laugh causing Kevin to smile and just looking at that smile Antoni decided there and then to just do it “I love you” there was an awkward moment of silence when Antoni began to regret saying it “I love you too Antoni” he said and pulled the other man onto his lap and began kissing him before getting interrupted by the episode Nannies (S8,E3) coming on and Kevin pushed Antoni off his lap causing the other man to laugh as just how much Kevin loved this episode.

**PRESENT DAY**

The group began to laugh at that fact “wait seriously you told him you loved him for the first time and he pushed you aside instead of pausing the episode” Karamo asked and Antoni just nodded “to be fair it is a very funny episode” Rob supplied causing Tan to just look at him strangely “wait what really so if we were making out and it came on you would push me aside to watch it” Tan demanded as the rest of the group stared at the couple “I mean no of course not I would pause it and then watch it after but still it’s a good episode and so is the next episode it’s very funny so funny in fact I am tempted to steal the premise when we have kids to help us chose the godparent” Rob said with a laugh “what you know what I don’t want to know” Tan said turning his attention away from his husband and back to his brothers “so Karamo now it’s your turn” Antoni said suddenly realising that the other man was about to tell his story when Antoni hijacked the conversation to tell his own.


	5. Karamo told Ian that he ONLY loved her

“oh right gosh when was it” he began he and Ian had told each other they loved each other so many times he couldn’t really remember the first time they had said it or even who said it first “come on KB the rest of us have told our stories it’s your turn” Bobby said gently pushing his ‘work husband’ as he often referred to Karamo “I don’t know boys I mean I can’t think I don’t have that good a memory you guys know that” he began and the boys nodded “oh we knew” Tan said thinking back to the time he forgot to pick up the hero from him when they were filming the previous season “anyway as I was saying I’m not sure but I think it was on our fifth date when we were at a restaurant there is no real story sorry boys” the four of them all sighed and Rob just smiled at their antics more than used to it by this point “surely you have a story where you told him you loved him and there was some drama all couples do” Rob said and Karamo nodded thinking about what could have easily been the biggest fight they had ever had “well then why don’t you tell that story then” Tan said desperate for one juicy story, Karamo hesitated the fact that he and his ex were still close was known by his boys but still “come on K we have told our stories it’s only fair” Antoni spoke out making the culture expert cave “ok, ok so here’s the background information you need” he began “we had been spending a lot of time as a family of five, you know Me, Ian, the boys and their mom and Ian was getting jealous a little” he started before taking a deep breath and telling the story.

**5 th May 2012**

The couple were enjoying a quiet night in watching the second last episode of season 8 of CSI:NY which had aired the previous night Stephanie and the boys were having some mother-son time at hers that night and as always when she had come to get them Karamo had hugged her goodbye while Ian watched from afar, he knew he had no right to be feeling like this nor did he have any need to be after all Karamo was very much gay he had no interest in dating any woman but still they had a child together so maybe he was justified with his feelings after all. Karamo had noticed that Ian had been extremely quiet all night, in fact, when he thought about it Ian had been like this a lot the past few weeks, the couple had been dating for almost 18 months now and because they both cared so deeply about family and held it as one of their highest values Karamo had wanted to make sure that Ian felt like part of his family by being around his kids and their mom but Karamo was beginning to worry that he may have made that move to fast he wanted to figure out what was bothering the love of his life but he also worried about pushing too far and Ian closing him out complete so he decided to treat it like one of his counseling clients and try to gently get it out of him.

“hey love are you ok” he asked as he turned off the TV and Ian just nodded “you sure babe you’ve been acting odd lately” “more quite than usual” he quickly added in explanation to avoid upsetting him further Ian shock his head “no, no I’m fine I promise” he began the last thing Ian wanted was a fight he loved Karamo far too much to risk losing him over something so trivial and some meaningless jealousy but he could tell that Karamo didn’t believe him of course he didn’t Karamo could always tell when he was lying “come on please talk to me the boys aren’t here so now the perfect time for us to talk about this” Karamo said before instantly regretting it as he saw Ian tense up “what why do you say that” Ian asked worried that Karamo already knew what was wrong and was just trying to get him to admit “well I just mean that we wont get disturbed love that’s all” Ian nodded he was still unsure about telling Karamo but he also knew that his boyfriend would not let it go until he got an answer that pleased him so taking a deep breath and moving on the couch so he could look directly at the other man Ian began to speak “ok so I know that it is dumb ok but you and Stephanie are so close and I don’t know it just feels strange ok I know that it’s dumb because well I mean,” he said gesturing between them “because I’m gay” Karamo supplied and Ian nodded “exactly so I know nothing will ever happen but it’s still a little odd for me ok” Ian said sighing happy to finally have that all out in the open but he was still worried that Karamo might take it the wrong way but that fear was soon dismissed “you big dummy” Karamo said as he pulled his boyfriend into a hug before pulling back to talk to the man “why didn’t you just talk to me about it Ian I’m so sorry I thought that getting you to spend time with me and the boys and Stephanie would make you feel more like a part of the family but now that you have spoken to me I now know that I was pushing you to far” he said as he pulled Ian into another quick hug placing a kiss on the older man’s temple “ok listen I love her ok and I always will she gave me my two incredible sons but that is the only reason I love her Ian ok there are no romantic feelings only love” Ian just nodded again he knew that of course he did but it felt so good hearing the younger man say it to him “I know love I’m sorry for being so stupid about all this I just love you so much and there is such an age gap of course I’m going to fear losing you” Karamo looked Ian in the eyes and spoke “not stupid love it’s all ok it’s kind of cute that your jealous and don’t worry I’m not going anywhere” he said before glancing at the clock “now what do you say we finish this episode before the boys get home” Ian agreed and the couple just snuggled on the couch and continued watching unwrapped just as the CSI’s found out about the drug cat Karamo turned to Ian “I love you to” and Ian just smiled and snuggled closer to his boyfriend enjoying the domestic bliss 

**PRESENT DAY**

“oh sweety that’s just hilarious” Bobby said with a laugh and Karamo swatted him on the arm “no it’s not Bobby it could have caused a big fight” “but it didn’t KB so Bobbers is right” Antoni said “I suppose I mean my boyfriend was jealous om my relationship with my EX GIRLFIREND” “exactly” Rob laughed “that would be like him being jealous of literally any of my EX’s” he added causing Tan to laugh “yep you really are ideal no ex boyfriends the perfect man” Antoni just shook his head at those two who would find any way to complement each other or flirt before tuning his attention back to the rest “why would he even get jealous” he asked knowing all too well that Ian really wasn’t that type none of the three husbands of the boys were they couldn’t be with the amount of time there husband’s spent with each other and him and Johnny “I don’t know I mean maybe all the times I told her I loved her when he was nearby or the kisses every time I saw her” the culture expert said to the shock of his brothers “WHAT!” the whole table said “well I do love her she gave me my sons and I will always love her for that but as I said to Ian I only love her I’m not in love with her” he explained as Tan looked at his watch “well this has been fun and I have loved seeing you boys thanks’ for coming up to visit but we need to run the in-laws are coming and I need to get the house ready” he said pulling Antoni into a hug before standing and doing the same with the rest of the group and with that a goodbye from Rob the couple left and headed for home the other four stayed a chatted for a while about their own upcoming projects before heading out Antoni heading to his new restaurant that would be opening a few weeks later in Salt Lake and the others headed to the airport to get there plane home Bobby and Karamo both desperate to get back to their husbands after those stories making them miss home so much.

**Author's Note:**

> if you don’t understand why Tan called JVN Jackie it was his childhood nickname as explained in Tan’s second episode of Getting Curious


End file.
